Thinking Thoughts

Hello there folks! So lately, and really most of the time, I have decided that I truely live in my head. I seem to constantly be thinking about situations and over analizing them instead of enjoying life. One person told me that was part of my Astrological sign and that I can't fight who I am. On one hand she is completely correct...and I like that I always think about the consequences and see both sides. The thing that bothers me the most is I tend to look at a situation, see the right and wrong, and if its wrong...I have done it any way! Now I just don't get what goes through your mind when you make a decision like that! Is it that in that moment it doesn't seem like a big deal or you truely don't care about the consequences? And if you make a mistake...why do it again?

I ask these questions because I have asked myself and can't seem to find the right answers. I always come up blank and I think that because I don't want to admit the truth to myself. I know when I have done something wrong because when I am doing it or have done it, I really don't get that much enjoyment out of it. I am usually so uncomfortable and paranoid that I can't let myself enjoy it. But if thats the case why do it again? I think the answer to this might be beacuse its to hard to tell people no. I can't stand to see disappointment in others or the look they give you when they are disappointed in you. I know this is a lot of babble and I appologize but i find it so easy to vent on here!!

I have been so run down lately and so not myself that I have to decided to change. As I mentioned in my first bog...this blog is about my journey of finding me. I feel as though I have done a lot of things wrong in my life and I hope to try and fix...but I am constantly thinking about that all the time and sometimes that gets frustrating. Its hard because you never get clear answers...its like one of those scenes out of movie where there is a wise man that talks nothing but riddles. Just spit it out already!!! Ha Ha...any way, my biggest goal right now is to learn how to forgive myself and learn to respect and love me for me. So if you have any suggestions on how to actively go about that...I am all ears. i am hoping that this will help but any other ideas are appreciated.


I know it won't happen over night but hopefully one day I will actually be a ble to look in a mirror and look at me...and feel love!